20th June 1998
I was twelve, almost thirteen, when everything changed. Since my fourth anniversary that I started seeing lost souls, but my brothers had always told me that was only my imagination. Until today… Today I felt them. I felt those souls looking at me, and I saw them, those eyes without feelings that scared the shit out of me, that faces with no expression… And, for the first time, I could hear their scary voices.
-“Yeah, it is her… They’re so similar to each other!” – The women said. She had chains around her neck, and her eyes looked so empty… like her soul. When you see these spirits, they all have something that can be related with the cause of their death, at least it was what I read… And I also can see their aura, which indicates if that person was good or bad, a mother or a child, a son of the Devil or a child of Christ.
-“Do you think that she knows about her mother? About the real cause of her death?” – and, suddenly, they started burning, like if they were talking about something secret, something wrong.
The real cause of her death? Dad always said that she died because of me, that it was my fault… What if it wasn’t? What if there wasn’t any reason for me to feel guilty? What if it was him? My life had always been tormented because of my mom’s death, what if it was his fault, what it was him so he could torment me, use me, and treat me as trash?
I went to the kitchen, and there he was, that huge man with that scarred, guilty face, that I called “Dad”.
-“Hey Dad, can I ask you something?” – My voice was full of pain and angry. He had never treated me good, but he was my father, he was the one who gave me life. And I knew that, deep inside, he loved me, I was his daughter.
-“What?” – He said, with that grumpy voice and that drunken tone. He didn’t look at me since I was seven, because each day I was becoming more similar o my mother, and he had always loved her. Sometimes I still hear him cry in bed, and then he goes to the bar next door to get drunk, so he could have the courage to beat us and be able to discharge some of his anger.
-“I heard… voices… someone was saying… asking… asking if I knew the real cause of why mom died” – I said, convicted that I was doing the right thing. Well, I wasn’t. He grabbed my arm and took me to the attic. There were mom pictures everywhere, candles and my mother’s diary. The smell of mildew was visible, as well as moisture infiltration in that rotten wood. I felt my heart running, beating so hard that I almost felt him jumping of my chest, almost causing me an heart attack, because, deep inside, I knew what it would happen – or , at least, I thought I knew.
For the first time in years, he looked at me… Those deep blue eyes burning my skin, as he undressed me with his eyes.
-“You look so much like your mother…” – he said, almost drooling himself. I could sense his breathing in my skin, and that gross me. He started touching my face with those rough hands, covering my mouth.
-“Shhh, you don’t need to yell… You think you are smart, don’t you? Asking questions… Do you want to know what really happened to your mother, don’t you? I’ll tell you but, before, you need to grow up, and this will be your first achievement.” – And he started to kiss my neck while he unzipped my pants. Then, he caressed my private area and we heard a noise. He stopped and hit me with a lamp, leaving me unconscious.
When I woke up, I felt the blood coming down my forehead, splitting me in two – and it was exactly how I felt in that moment – broken. The life I knew had ended, and the nightmare had just begun.
15th March 2009
Today I went to the beach to do some jogging. I needed to clarify my thoughts and I needed to start thinking about my plan, the last one. After this job I could be free, I had enough money for my retirement.
The task was simple; I’ve done it so many times before: go to bed with some celebrity, film it and then blackmail him with the tape, to cause pain to people who have everything in their hands. That plan only failed once, and it wasn’t my fault, it was Jared Leto’s fault, he was the one who fell in love, he was the one who get hurt. This time the victim was chosen: Matt Shadows, the vocalist of Avenged Sevenfold. He is charming, the type of men I’ve always dreamed of: bad boy combined with an angelic face, cute, masculine, sexy… Those hazel eyes were absolutely perfect, and those dimples… Oh my God! Every time I saw that tattooed arms, I got wet, so I knew I needed to be more careful this time, more than usual. I’ve been with lots of men before, I’ve even sold my body, but no one, except Cris, had got my heart and soul, n one had give me pleasure, I never had an orgasm.
The plan was clear and flawless: they (A7X) were going to a party tonight, and Laura had invitations for both of us. With a little luck it was today that I could throw my poison, that magic potion called sensuality that makes them all fall at my feet.
- "Hey, Soph!" - I heard her scream. Her name was Laura, and she was the usual 'party girl', short red hair and gray eyes that changed color as the garment she wore. As she was the daughter of wealthy parents, her life revolved around parties and I was her company.
- "Baby, how are you? News for today? "- I noticed that she had just woken up, still with that tiny pajama that often left me thinking about the stuff I want to do with her.
-“The party starts at eleven p.m., and Phil will be waiting for us at the entry. You see, I scored last night, and Phil seems a real nice guy, so tonight is our second date.”
-“Huuum, Laura settling down? That’s new…” – I said, laughing
.
I spent the afternoon reading the book "Blue Eyed Boy", while thinking about how I would lead the plan. I knew all about Shadz, knew that to get closer to him, I had to first approach the band, and I also knew that lead him to betray his girlfriend would be very complicated. They had known each other since high school, and they have an excellent relationship, even before he became known, she was there, and I know he appreciates it. But I know what I worth, I know I am the dream of every man; my lips are the despair of them.
After, we went to dinner some pizza, where the conversations ranged from the boy that Laura had won at the disco (Phil), the new job of Nitai and, of course, the ideas of makeup by Barbie (she knew how to put a woman beautiful, and she was, indeed, a beautiful woman, a true Barbie of modern times).
After dinner we went to the bedroom attire ourselves, I dressed a pink short dress, to show my legs, while Laura took a bright red dress with a high neckline. Barbie tried to make up and in there we were ready to rock, ready for a great night. We put some perfume on and we set path.
She looks so hot, those legs make me crazy, and those lips should be kissing me. That woman drives me crazy. One day I’ll throw her back to a wall and fuck her there, I don’t care about everything else ... But today is not the day, it is too early.
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